What if time could be frozen,

Only a small shard of ice, that is all it takes

To freeze a moment in time forever.

There is but one problem with this however, my dear,

There will never be enough ice, enough shards

To freeze all the moments of us, together, that I want to last eternity.

—————————————————————————————————

(OH MY GOD THIS IS CRAP! I am so out of practice and so rusty, my other things look like masterpieces compared to this lol)

And Then She Closed The Window

She was still shaken up by the thoughts and memories, they continued to haunt her awake and sleep. She glanced to the wall, a medium sized window was open and the horror rushed back to her, pushing her on her knees and making her weep. She cried not only for her, but for many, friends and family.

As she wept, the memory became more vivid in her mind. It started with a shard heat, warming at first but soon unbearable. Next came the red light, that horrible red light of destruction. Than came the sight of her husband on the other side of the room, by the window. He was yelling something to her, but at this moment in her memory, she wasn’t able to hear yet, the thoughts were remembered one sense at a time. What came next was smell, she could smell the darkness that was invading her nose and started to cough at the memory. Next was the worst part, the sound, and she suddenly heard the yelling of her husband, telling her to get out the door. She was reluctant to go, but she knew help was waiting for both of them, that they were coming to the window.  He said that he loved her and she ran out the door crying. She was outside, but she couldn’t find her husband and the window was still closed in the apartment. Straining her eyes to see, she saw him, trying to open the window, he couldn’t get it. She was watching helplessly, but than he sunk down, under the window and all she remembered was screaming, screaming for them to save him. She saw them pulling the ladder away in vision blurred with tears, screaming at them to keep trying, but even she knew why they stopped. He was dead and it would be unsafe for even the firemen to go in. This was five years ago and she was able to live again in the apartment since then.

She snapped out of her memory, awakened from her trance like state by her screams. She knew it hurt, and it was about time she moved on, it was five years ago. Glancing over at the window that she opened as soon as she started living in the apartment again, it was never closed. In the past five years she couldn’t bring herself to close it, it being closed caused her so much pain.

She walked over to the window with a final resolve; she would move on, her husband would have wanted her to, to get over the pain. She hovered her hands over the window. She the sticking problem fixed years ago but she was still afraid, it meant more to her than just it sticking. As she put her hand on the top she felt relieved, and as she started to push it closed she felt like she was finally letting her husband go to rest. And then she closed the window.

I never named this poem, I am not really good at titles.

An angel in the darkness,
Sent from the heavens
To lighten my way
Brighten the night.

My heart but a rose
A romantic cliché,
But black in colour
Turns red in your sight.

This rose heart, burning in fire,
A black flame of isolation, loneliness,
When the rose shifts red, so too do the flames,
Red with passion and joy.

So to you, my angel, my saviour of soul,
My life is yours ever more,
Eternal as the Amaranth
Your possession to hold,
To use, abuse, punish un-fairly,
For my faith everlasting and love even more…
I love you.

If I Could Change

If I could change, I’d change for you,
Brighten the dark flames of my heart and soul,
Purify my body and mind,
Change the dark into light.

If I could change, I’d change for you,
Brighten my laugh,
Widen my smile,
Be happy instead of sad.

If I could change, I’d change for you,
You’re all I want, all I need,
The only thing I care about,
You are my world.

If you would change just for me,
The idea is sweet, but not what I want,
I love you for you, not what you could be,
Your heart is big, no matter what colour the flames burn
For when I’m with you, your heart burns so bright
It makes me feel warm and safe…
don’t ever change.

A goodbye poem I wrote a few years back

So much has happened, so much has changed,
we have done so much in this short time.
We have endured sadness and sorrow,
shared so many laughs,
been together for good and bad,
supported each other.

This time I spent with all of you,
will always be remembered, always be special,
never forgotten, always true.
I am forever changed, for better or worse
I do not know, maybe never know.

Sadness overwhelming, as I prepare,
a long memorable journey soon ends,
when the clock strikes zero
I shall be gone.

Your saddened cries, sorrows anger,
the trail we traveled cannot be returned,
flames engulf the only path back.

The darkness engulfs my spirit, my soul,
as I become one with the lifeless dark…

Farewell

Ordered Chaos Posted a Photo

A sonnet I wrote in 08, I tried re-typing it into Tumblr but it wouldn’t keep the right formatting so I just took an old scan of the page I found to post.

A sonnet I wrote in 08, I tried re-typing it into Tumblr but it wouldn’t keep the right formatting so I just took an old scan of the page I found to post.

If I could change, I’d change for you,
Brighten the dark flames of my heart and soul,
Purify my body and mind,
Change the dark into light.

If I could change, I’d change for you,
Brighten my laugh,
Widen my smile,
Be happy instead of sad.

If I could change, I’d change for you,
You’re all I want, all I need,
The only thing I care about,
You are my world.

If you would change just for me,
The idea is sweet, but not what I want,
I love you for you, not what you could be,
Your heart is big, no matter what colour the flames burn
For when I’m with you, your heart burns so bright
It makes me feel warm and safe…
     don’t ever change.

Something I wrote a few years ago.

An angel in the darkness,
Sent from the heavens
To lighten my way
Brighten the night.

My heart but a rose
A romantic cliché,
But black in colour
Turns red in your sight.

This rose heart, burning in fire,
A black flame of isolation, loneliness,
When the rose shifts red, so too do the flames,
Red with passion and joy.

So to you, my angel, my saviour of soul,
My life is yours ever more,
Eternal as the Amaranth
Your possession to hold,
To use, abuse, punish un-fairly,
For my faith everlasting and love even more…
I love you.

Textbook!
Beat your friends,
But not too hard
Because it can hurt,
But don’t spare your enemies,
Who cares how much you beat them,
They’re your enemies for a reason
And the textbook is an unexpected tool;
A tool that can be used for learning or destruction
But it’s up to you how you use it
Because with great power comes great responsibility
And both knowledge, and blunt weapons, are power.

Tree of beauty, blooming madly,
with branches swaying softly in the wind,
petals gently floating down
and gracefully touching the ground.

With life a plenty in the tree,
bugs and squirrels and bees and birds
all thrive because of the tree
and the protection it gifts them.

A gentle sparkle of frost on branches,
a chill dropped the leafs,
but even bare, somehow beautiful
with the sparkle and twinkle of frost.

And now the life returns again,
the bloom, the inhabitants, the bugs,
as the tree woke up from it’s chilly slumber,
to start it’s chain, it’s cycle again.

My pretty little rose,
how much you mean to me,
your being takes my love from me,
but gives me yours in return.

My pretty little rose,
your always in a beautiful bloom,
never fading, never wilting,
our love preserving all the beauty.

My pretty little rose,
red as passion yet black as desire,
your forever mine and I yours…
my pretty little rose is you

I whisper his name with a saddened voice
Hoping he would lift the cloud of sorrow,
Hoping he would come quickly in a whir of motion
But he has not come to save me.
It feels like I’m falling off a cliff
And hoping he will catch me
But I know he won’t,
I know he isn’t there,
All that awaits me is the ground.

Despair and sorrow,

Mixed emotions, the water in a well,

Eternally wading, treading within,

Yearning, wanting for the one person

Who can pull, yank you out,

The person doesn’t come,

You keep waiting, but never do they come,

You get tired, can’t tread water anymore,

You drown in your emotions.

Flames, burn and burn,

Grow and glow with your mighty heat.

Grow around me, singe my flesh,

Burn right through me;

Rebirth in the ashes.